Tag Archives: mustelids


Vice Week continues with The Seven Deadly Sins. The next seven posts will describe an animal or animals that exemplify Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, Wrath, Pride, and Lust. And no, “Sloth” will not be a Sloth, because I have already done the Sloth, because I cannot plan ahead.

When I think of animal gluttons, the first thing to come to mind is the Wolverine, whose other name is “the Glutton.” In fact, his scientific name, Gulo gulo, is Latin for “Glutton glutton.” The largest of the weasels, wolverines make up for in ferocity what they lack in stature. The adamantium skeleton doesn’t hurt, either.

You wanna dance, bub?

A wolverine can bring down a moose. They’re not particularly fast, but because of their broad feet they can outrun almost anything in deep snow. They’ve been known to challenge grizzly bears for a meal. And while they can eat a lot in one sitting, because they don’t eat often in those Arctic winters, they’re not the most gluttonous animal I can think of.

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Food vs. Wild

Stretched out on the couch after a long hike the other night, I texted a friend to say that I was flipping between “Man vs. Wild” on Discovery and “Man vs. Food” on the Travel Channel. She responded with a prediction that the two would soon merge into a blur of “Food vs. Wild.” And I realized, I need to pitch this to a T.V. exec, like, right now. Wouldn’t you watch a show that featured hucking hot dogs at bears really hard? What about cupcakes vs. slow lorises? Grapes vs. hawks? Super soakers of hot soup vs. squirrels? WHO WILL PREVAIL?

Naturally, once my mind started creating brackets of potential animals vs. food match-ups, I had to bet on an eventual winner. And the one animal that I think would never lose any battle with food of any kind is the subject of today’s post, and one of the most rapacious, fearless animals in the world: the honey badger.

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